By Automan Empire
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2013 May 17, 5:01am
2,557 views 3 comments
Like shooting fish in a barrel.
A caller asked how she could forgive her husband for infidelity. Here is his fine response verbatim. Sorry about the numbers.
â€œStop talking about the cheating! (1) He cheated on you, well, heâ€™s a man. (2) So what you do is begin to focus on why you married him in the first place, on what he does good. (3) Does he provide a home for you to live in, does he provide food for you to eat, does he provide clothes for you to wear, is he nice to the children, do you have a happy family, does he take your kids to sporting events, does he go out and watch their Little League games, does he share with you stuff thatâ€™s going on (4)â€¦is he handsome? (5) Start focusing on those things and essentially fall in love with him all over again. (6)
"I recommend you reach out and touch him, touch his faceâ€”touch his faceâ€”hold his hand, look into his eyes, talk to him, (7) youâ€™re praying oh God, teach me to not hate him when he was with that stripper in that hotel room 10 years ago (8) and Iâ€™ll never forgive him kind of thing please â€“so what are you focusing on? Youâ€™re focusing on the thing that makes you mad. (9) Stop that. (10) Start focusing on the good stuff. He must have something good or you wouldnâ€™t have married him. (11)
"So give him honor instead of worrying about it. (12) But recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit (13) and what you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesnâ€™t want to wander. (14) Think of the temptations that are out there, the internet is FILLED with pornography,(15) the magazines are filled with salacious pictures of women (16) Anywhere you turn around thereâ€™s some solicitation to the senses to entice a man. (17)
"What you have to do is say, â€˜My husband was captured and I want to get him free.(18 )But reach out and think of the good stuff. Begin to thank God that you have a marriage that is together (19) and that you live in America (20) and good things are happening.â€ (21)
What ever happened to cutting off his wanger and feeding it to the dogs?
What about surreptitiously testing him for STDs? "Oops, pricked your finger? I'll get a slide."
"If you were to offer him thrice daily a savage, gagging blow job in the name of Jesus Christ, he wouldn't have to hang around bus stations offering homeless women Happy Meals in trade for sex. Now you go pray on that!"